What to say when an employee says they're overwhelmed

When an employee says they're overwhelmed, start by reflecting the load back to them, and hold your solutions. Then be honest about the parts of the workload you control, help them pick one place to start, and offer ideas only once they've had a chance to name their own. If the pattern is someone who won't hand anything off, explore their reasons for holding on before you suggest delegating.

The first thing you say

The first response sets the direction of the whole conversation. Most managers reach for one of two moves, and both close the conversation down.

I'm drowning. I have forty-two open referrals and I'm still finding faxes from last week.

Everyone's slammed right now. It should ease up after flu season.

Have you tried blocking off your first hour for referrals?

You're buried, and the old work keeps turning up while the new work piles on.

The first reply tells her the problem is normal and she should wait it out. The second implies she hasn't thought of the obvious. The reflection tells her you heard the size of it, and it gives her room to keep talking, which is where you'll learn what's driving the load.

Reflect the load, then focus

People who are overwhelmed often list everything at once. Trying to solve the whole list in one meeting adds to the feeling. Reflect the load, then ask where they want to start.

It's the phones, it's the new discharge packets, it's covering the second desk when Andre's out, and now they want me on the safety committee.

Every piece of that has landed on you, and none of it has come off your plate.

Exactly. Nothing ever comes off.

If we could take one thing off or make one thing easier this week, which would make the biggest difference?

Asking them to choose does two things. It turns an overwhelming list into a single decision, and it puts them in charge of the decision.

Own the part that's yours

Some overload comes from how a person works. A lot of it comes from staffing and priorities, which belong to you. MI doesn't ask you to pretend otherwise. If part of the problem is yours, say so.

I can't keep up with denials and also train the new hire. Something's going to give.

You're right, and some of that is on me. I added the training without taking anything else away. Let's figure out what comes off.

Listening well can't substitute for fixing a staffing problem. If you reflect someone's exhaustion every month and the workload never changes, your reflections start to sound hollow.

Ask before you offer

You'll probably have ideas. Ask what they've already tried, offer yours with permission, and let them decide what fits. This pattern is often called elicit, provide, elicit.

What have you tried so far to get ahead of the referrals?

I tried doing them first thing, but the phones start at eight.

Would it help if I shared what the other site does?

Sure.

They have the MAs cover phones from eight to nine so the coordinator gets one clear hour. I don't know if that fits here. What do you think?

The final question hands the decision back. She knows her day better than you do, and she's more likely to try something she chose.

When they won't delegate

Some overwhelmed employees are drowning in work they could hand off. They answer emails at midnight and skip vacation while their team asks for more responsibility. Telling them to delegate rarely works. They've usually heard it, and they have reasons for holding on that make sense to them.

I'd love to hand off the schedule, but if it's wrong, the whole clinic falls apart. It's faster if I do it.

You have to learn to delegate. You can't do everything yourself.

The schedule matters too much to risk getting wrong.

Right. Although I'm doing it at eleven at night, so it's not like I'm at my best either.

The reflection let her hear her own reasoning, and she added the other side herself. That second sentence is change talk. Follow it.

If one of your leads could take the schedule on in a year, what would that free you up to do?

Honestly? I'd get to manage. I haven't done a real one-on-one with my team since spring.

Now she's arguing for delegation in her own words. When she's ready to plan, keep it specific: who, which piece first, what support they'll need, and how she'll know it's working. Starting with one small task, with a check-in after two weeks, is easier to agree to than handing over the whole schedule.

Practice the full conversation with Angela, a practice manager whose team loves her and who hasn't taken a vacation in a year.

Practice this conversation with Angela →

Questions to ask an overwhelmed employee

Pick one or two of these, and reflect the answer before you ask another. A string of questions feels like an intake form.

• "What's taking the most out of you right now?"
• "Which part of this feels most within your control?"
• "What have you already tried, and what helped even a little?"
• "If one thing came off your plate, which would you pick?"
• "What would a manageable week look like?"
• "What do you need from me?"

The last question matters most, and managers skip it. Some employees want you to take something away. Others want you to stop adding to the pile, or to back them up when they say no to someone else. You won't know which until you ask.

Phrases to avoid

A few common responses make overwhelmed people feel worse.

We're all stretched thin.

You just need to prioritize.

I don't know how you do it all!

The first compares their load to everyone else's and asks them to stop complaining. The second implies they haven't tried. The third sounds like admiration, and it tells them you expect them to keep doing it all.

Offering support resources

If you mention your employee assistance program in the first two minutes, it can sound like you're passing them off. Mention it once they've talked, and with permission.

I'm glad you told me how hard this stretch has been. Can I mention something that might help alongside the scheduling changes?

Okay.

The EAP has free counseling sessions, and some people use them during a hard stretch at work. No pressure, I wanted you to know it's there.

When it's more than workload

MI is a conversation style, and depression or a crisis calls for professional support. If someone describes hopelessness, can't sleep or eat, or says anything about harming themselves, stop coaching. Tell them you're concerned, connect them with your EAP or another support, and follow your organization's guidance for urgent situations. You don't have to handle it alone, and you shouldn't try.

Overload can also turn into a safety problem. If a nurse is skipping medication double-checks or a tech is cutting corners on sterile processing because they're rushed, address the safety issue directly and right away. Then come back to the workload conversation.

Following up

The conversation that changes things is often the second one. Put a check-in on the calendar before you leave the room, and open it by asking what's changed.

It's been two weeks since we moved phones off your first hour. How's it going?

For more on why MI fits management conversations like this one, see motivational interviewing for managers and leaders. The leaders page shows how to practice them in short drills.